Meeting New People

Being a widow can be eye opening and lonely in many ways. I read this quote the other day by Elizabeth Berrien about grief and its loneliness.

“It's true that the grief journey is very lonely, but it is also up to you to decide just how lonely you will make it.” - Elizabeth Berrien

Eventually, if you are anything like me, you will want to meet new people to make connections and find new friendships. The upside and downfall is these new people only know what I tell them about myself. They don’t avoid me because they don’t know what to say. They also don’t give “sad eyes” every time I walk in the room. It’s fun. It’s new. It’s refreshing. Truthfully, it’s a slight adrenaline rush to just be myself without the widowhood attached.

However, the truth is, widowhood is a part of me. Eventually, the conversation will come up about family. Am I married? Kids? Etc. The response to am I married is: I’m widowed. You should see the look of shock and disbelief! It’s a little funny from my side because I have come to expect it. The question they want to know next is why I am a widow. Thankfully, no one has asked that yet, I can just tell. So, I respond: “Stage 4 cancer.” < Insert long awkward pause or slowly backing away.>

It really is comical to me now because it has happened so many times. Laugh to keep from crying, right?!?

So, meeting new people is always a fun adventure but definitely not a way to avoid being a widow. There isn't an avoidance, only acceptance of this new reality of loneliness, “sad eyes,” and new friendships that grow in hard places.